Buddy, Can You Spare a Dollar?

Friday, July 8, 2011

Page 15

AT THE SIDEBAR (Column)

Buddy, Can You Spare a Dollar?

By J’AMY PACHECO

I save coins.

I don’t know how or why I started doing this, or even when. The influence may have come from my grandmother, who collected coins in little cardboard books. She had pennies that were decades old, each popped neatly into a little circle allocated for its particular year and location of mint.

I don’t collect coins like she did, though. Generally, I save coins by tossing them in the bottom of my purse and leaving them there until my right shoulder starts to hurt. Then I take them out and throw them into a bowl at home until I get around to sorting and wrapping them.

That might not sound like such a big deal. However, I once was paying for some books when the cashier mentioned a need for pennies. I knew there had to be some down there in my financial black hole, and offered to look.

As the cashier looked on with disbelief, I dredged quite a handful of change from my purse. She offered to exchange it for paper money. I walked away with $16 dollars in paper bills, and a feeling that a burden had been lifted from my shoulders. Because it had.

My friends call my pocketbook my “magic money purse.” I often joke that my purse is my alternate savings account. In some ways, it ends up being just that when I start offloading into the bowl.

I might retrieve a handful of quarters when I know I’m going to take a toll road, but otherwise, I leave them be until the bowl fills up.

Getting ready to head to Las Vegas for a convention, I decided not to wait and sorted my coins. The bowl wasn’t even half full, and I stopped counting at $140. The reason I stopped counting was because I got all excited about finding an old, thin dime that was all silver. It’s kind of a miracle that I even noticed it in there. I guess my money bowl is magic, too.

Anyway, whether or not I got it from my grandma, I think it’s obvious that I like coins.

So you can imagine my reaction when I recently read an article indicating there is a billion dollar stash of coins piled up at the Federal Reserve, and nobody wants them.

As I understand it, our legislators passed some sort of mandate requiring dollar coins be produced, despite their unpopularity. Banks, the article said, are sending dollar coins back because consumers don’t want them.

Two points—the first is that if they wanted consumers to embrace dollar coins, why did they make them look so darn much like quarters?

My great-grandfather used to give me silver dollars, and 50-cent pieces. When somebody gives you a silver dollar, there’s no question that it’s a silver dollar. Its size and heft commands attention and respect, leaving no doubt that this is a coin to be reckoned with.

Modern dollar coins, on the other hand, suffer from mistaken identity. I wonder how many people got gypped, 75 cents at a time, by accidentally confusing Susan B. Anthony with George Washington. Whose idea was it to make a dollar coin look like a fraternal twin to the quarter? Yeesh.

The second point is more important: I like coins. If the U.S. government has an extra billion in coins sitting around, I’ll happily take them off their hands. Heck, I’d be happy with a bowl full.

In my bowl, I found a few of what we call “golden dollars.” These are the quarter look-alikes that were colored gold to avoid confusion. As if.

Golden dollars are my favorite of all the modern coins. They bring back fond memories for me, as golden dollars are what the tooth fairy used to leave when my daughter lost a tooth.

Anyway, if I understand correctly, they’re going to keep making these golden coins, even if I’m the only one who likes them, and even at a tremendous cost.

Talk about waste. In my mind, it’s like CalTrans blocking off 10 miles of the 91 freeway, creating massive traffic tie-ups, hours before anybody does any actual work. (Ask me how I know. Just ask.) It’s enough to make a taxpayer crazy.

I suppose it’s possible that the U.S. government is looking at the Federal Reserve like a giant magic money bowl. Just when things look bleakest, they’ll pull out those billion coins and it will rain—instead of pennies from Heaven—golden dollars from Washington.

My grandmother would have loved it.